Since labor day has just passed through our grips, I would like to take this opportunity to bid the summer of 2004 a fond and heartfelt farewell. It was a great summer in many respects. We had the 28th summer olympiad, which showed us that the greek people, although still dirty, can pull themselves together and put on one hell of a show. It also gave us triumph and victory on many playing fields, whether it be the pool or the softball field or the gymnastics arena. It was the summer of individual medleys and 2 and a half pikes, and liberos... the summer of phelps, hamms, and those other people. Thanks olympics, thanks for entertaining me into the wee hours of the night, thanks for making women's volleyball intriguing and the high jump... well, high and jumpy.
And in true fashion of the cinematic industry, the summer provided us with the best of blockbusters. We saw the return of Tobey Mcguire and Kirsten Dunst in the highly awaited sequel Spiderman-2, taking the spirit of the first movie, and bringing it to new heights. Also, giving us the first villain with man-boobs. Summer also gave us the third installment in the Harry Potter series with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, enticing new audiences with its fresh and artistic cinematic vision, while at the same time pissing off and confusing those true fans of the story. But regardless, the third movie did not disappoint (much). It also gave us a sneak peek at the buds that sprout from the bosom of emma watson... And speaking of sprouts, this was definitely a good summer for our little girl Lindsay Lo, costarring in a few movies with some big stars, a couple of heavy hitters if you know what I mean. There was also Farenheit 9/11, a movie I could not bring myself to see in the theater. Basically, it was a movie that showed how bush slacked off his first year as president. But oh yeah, he left out the 8 years where clinton slacked off and let the terrorists plan the whole attack. Thanks Michael Moore for your unbiased account of the state of the world, and making it into a movie so the movie companies can capitalize on your anti-capitalist movements. Lets see, what else was out there... There was the remake of the Manchurian Candidate. Actually nicely done, as with all remakes, adding a little contemporary flare to a only now classic. Then there was yet another of M Night Shymalan's psychological thrillers which most say was more hype than anything. Personally, I enjoyed it, although I see where others would not. But great flick which kept me on the edge of my seat. Then there was I, Robot, placing Will Smith in yet ANOTHER Sci-fi role, but nicely done. Very 2001. And the summer rounded off with the movie Garden State, one of my personal favorites, and not only for the title. Although they did an amazing job capturing the true essence of your suburban NJ town. The similarities were almost too scary.
And who could forget the political mayhem of the upcoming november elections, accompanied by the Democratic and Republican National conventions. I'd like to thank the democrats for a couple of things... first, for keeping their convention 4 hours away. Second, for nominating a candidate who can't make a solid stand on an issue other than his indecisiveness. Now, for the republicans...(sarcasm alert) thanks for bringing your convention only a few miles from my house, or in what I like to call the blast radius. It's so nice to know that I'll melt and wont have to suffer from radioactive mutation for years to come. Also, thanks to the republicans for being so controversial and calling in all sorts of protestors from all over the country to shut down the streets of new york for a week. Thanks for making me have to take the subway because the cops would not let anyone walk on the sidewalk. Thanks for not showering and making our fine city smell like ransid vinegar. Thanks for taking a great stand and showing all those democrats you know how to walk in large crowds, because that's about all you showed me. And thanks for hating the other guy rather than supporting your own candidate. And thanks in advance for smoking too much pot on election day and sleeping through the poll hours, that of course is if you're old enough to vote. And a special thanks to Michael Moore for showing up at yet another anti bush rally, but not making it into a feature film.
Then there were the hurricanes, which don't seem to be over yet, but brought devastation, one right after the other, to our friendly peninsula state to the south. What did florida ever do to you ocean. You better watch it, those retired folks can get pretty angry when their cranky. And dont you even dare mess with Micky. Y? Because he'll kick your ass.
Also, how about that HOT weather. Thanks to you for making women dress in tight outfits, hiding very little, and accentuating their endowments. I love you hot weather. Accept for when you make me sweat in my non-airconditioned car, and force me to wear dark colors all summer to hide the nasty sweat marks on my back, in turn making me hotter and making me sweat more. But hey, it was worth it.
And thank god for summer for bringing my t-mobile contract to an end, allowing me to switch to verizon and getting a bitchin new phone, AND allowing me to finally receive all my calls for the first time in the past 8 months. I love you verizon wireless, I love you and your CDMA network and all your cell towers. Thanks for never stopping working for me ;-) Yes, yes I can hear you now.
Finally, I'd like to thank summer for an excuse to take a vacation. You let me get away for about 2 weeks to enjoy seclusion and nature, while indulging myself in drugs and alcohol.
I love you summer, you're the best. Now get the hell out of the way so fall can take over.
