Pumpkin Concerto in A minor

I've recently started listnening to my local classical station, and on rather a regular basis, something a little odd for a 24 year old guy who works at a top 40 radio station. I don't exactly know why.... I used to listen occasionally wednesday nights on the way home from work just to give my ears a break from 2 hours of non stop 90's music, but now it's the first thing I tune to. I think I'm just in a mood... I often find myself getting in musical moods from time to time. perhaps it's the fall... the soothing sounds of the classical music coupled with the vibrant and euphoric fall foliage happen to be the perfect combination. Or maybe it's a product of my new luxury sedan. Driving a boat has made me start acting like an old man, sophisticated with my pants held high. I also love how I can get in my car, drive about a half hour, and still listen to the same piece of music. I actually think it's improved my driving. Give it a try, trust me.

On a side note, last saturday, the fun fall things 2004 were put into effect. Dana, Laura and myself ventured out to do some pumkpin and apple picking... rather disappointing, however, as we found all the apples to be off the tree (and expensively sold in the little on site store) and the pumpkins off the vine, just scattered around the patch. I suppose that's what we get for coming so late in the season. It actually made me long for the days of getting rotten apples pelted at me in the orchard during those days in college when we used to go to larriland farms, but those days are gone. Sigh. But we each found our pumpkin, me finding a decent sugar pumpkin, just enough to carve and stick a tea light in, scoop out and toast the seeds, and give the effect of a celebratory halloween. I love the holiday, I think it should be celebrated like in Harry Potter, with a giant feast, floating jack-o-lanterns optional. But that's me, living in a fictional world meant for children. It's just a way to recapture my youth. I'd totally go trick or treating, but I'm better off with out bag fulls of candy, and the scolding looks from the neighbors. Oh, by the way, as for apple picking, we drove back home and went to the local farmers market... better selection and a hell of a lot cheaper. Sorry, no pics of that ;-)





Now in the spirit of halloween, this weekend is the celebratory getaway at some freaky cabin in the poconos, nothing like going into the middle of the woods with a bunch of friends and freaking yourself out. :-) Can't wait

By the way, and this is the last one, Tuesday's nights movie this week was The Grudge. VERY FREAKY!! Yet another japanese horror flick remake, maintaining the spirit of The Ring (the sequel teasers our out, cant wait). It kinda had some effects similar, this time starring sarah michelle gellar, a step down from naomi watts in my book. But I despite the one star rating, I recommend going to see it. I still keep seeing the images in my head when I close my eyes. It'll be something to satisfy your brains horror appetite, at least until Saw comes out. Oh, and it's apparently a big date movie. When I was sitting in the theater with dana the other night, I glanced around at the theater, abnormally full for a tuesday night, and everyone was a couple, no exaggeration.

Here we go again

Do you think that fate ever gives us a second chance, or even a third? I guess I should ask if you believe in fate to begin with.... Over the weekend, in some moment of randomness, I was thinking back to about a year ago to this bizarre encounter I had in some bar. I was out for the night in hoboken, back when I used to go out in hoboken, actually back when I used to go out... anyway, we had originally gone to one bar, which was kinda dead, so we hopped in a cab and went to this other place (10th and willow in case you were curious). Anyway, I went in, laid off the alcohol because I believe I was out of money at the time, and just kind of walked around and enjoyed the scenery, like I usually do at bars. On a side note, I remember there being some issue at the door because I was wearing sneakers. I always wear sneakers, they're comfortable. But apparently the dude thought I had been there once before. I have that familiar look I suppose. But he let us in because I was with the z100 people at the time. Anyway, back to the story... while walking around, I noticed this girl that looked awfully familiar, like someone I had seen before at school, like somoeone from school that I had taken a class with. I kind of dismissed it, because in a loud, dark bar, it's easy to create a connection of familiarity, however remote it may be, not to mention I have a habit of thinking people look like people they really dont look like. Yeah, that's right. But I couldnt shake it, so every time I passed, I had to stare.

So come the end of the night, as we were preparing to leave, we stopped off at the bar, coincidentally right next to her, so I lean over to my friend, my friend who was intoxicated, and mentioned that I think I went to school with this girl. So by the power of two, and alcohol, I leaned over and asked her, and sure enough, it was her. Now, this girl was probably one of, if not the most attractive girl in there, this fact being reiterated by my collegues. So we figured it out, she slightly remembering me, me slightly remembering her, athough obviously moreso than her. But the beauty of it was that she was also intoxicated, leading to plenty of touching. Now far be it from me to take advantage of any woman, but she was hanging all over me. So we talked a little, but it ended there, I froze. No number, nothing but a name and a general location... Kristin, from queens. Kristin of course being the name which I believe will one day be my downfall, for various reasons beyond this one.

So now I question, was this fate bringing two people together again in a different setting, staging something to be set in motion? Granted, she was WAY out of my league (I recall always likening her to kelly preston in class - which by the way was a group of 3 classes with like 20-25 people, so I wasnt stalking her out of a 300 person lecture, just so you know), and under normal circumstances would never have talked to me, but certain situations give way to certain results. Who knows what could have come out of that if the right things were said and done? Why did we meet again, about 5 years later, 220 miles away from school? Now after I kick myself numerous times after situations like this, I tell myself, if it's meant to be, we'll see each other again, but what if that was my one chance, what if that was all I get and I blew it? In how many situations am I possibly set up for things that are meant to be, and I don't take the right action, and I dont necessarily mean situations involving girls either, this just happens to be a prime example.

Once again, such is my life.

That's brisk baby!

GO YANKS!! Last night was a little scary, but they pulled through as always. Sorry, just had to get that out of the way...

I really love the fall, like a lot. I always have, although this year even moreso. I love driving to work in the fall, up in the mountains of new jersey. Right now, the leaves are just beginning to change, so the mountaintops which were once a vibrant green from the trees, now still have that green, but with spurts of color here and there. Like someone is painting on a canvas and throwing in little dabs of color, happy little trees, bob ross style.

Also, the weather is getting colder, and I love colder weather. Really cold weather, no, but october weather is great. I cant wait until I get to do fun fall things, like pumpkin picking and a night corn maze. It makes me feel like a kid again, something I think we all need from time to time. Although, I dont think I did things like that when I was a kid, or maybe I did. Maybe that explains my overwhelming need to do them now.

By the way, on a side note, I'd like to thank white castle for being white castle. There's nowhere else I can go at 2am when I'm drunk and get delicious bite-sized hamburgers to satisfy my drunken apetite. I love you white castle. You're what I crave.

God, I'm being random today... I was going for one of my nightly run walks the other night, and I passed by a bunch of houses in town, and noticed that the halloween decorations have begun springing up all over the place. Do you think spiders get pissed off at the people that throw those things over their bushes that look like spiderwebs? It's like they did in a minute what takes the spider days to create. Just think about that... wouldnt it piss you off?

Finally, i recently discovered a new service called flickr, allowing mac users to upload photos. So in conjunction with my new phone, you can expect wonderful photos to please your tired eyes, or something like that...



That's my bro's puppy, isnt he cute :-)

Suspira

Wow, a comment by someone other than the 2 people I personally know... a little crazy. Well, thanks for reading devilhornz... anyway, I'm not necessarily DEPRESSED over my situation, I'm just a little down. Not to the point where I cant function, just enough to bother me. It's not that I feel I need someone to complete me... as a matter of fact, there are times when I enjoy my solitude. YES, being single is great, but you got to admit you're missing out on something when you're on your own. I'm just looking for someone to share some new experiences with. By no means do I need someone to govern my life. but yeah, I guess you are right, I should say fuck it. Thanks smartass ;-)

Well I guess that's what I get for posting at 3 am ;-) More comments are welcome. By the way, I already know I'm an idiot, so you can save that one for later.

By the way, just read chau's response as I was writing this (and playing with the pictures on my phone). Thanks chau, you're not too bad yourself. I was thinking not too long ago about what a great friend you are, and that you're definitely fantastic, amazing, and awesome yourself. For some reason that night we were sitting on your sunporch and talking just came into my head. I really liked that. But yeah, hang in there yourself kid... a couple of catchs like us are just waiting to be picked up, like a cantaloupe on sale at the supermarket, minus the squeezing... ok, with the squeezing. I don't know what I'm saying. (back to my post)

Today was an interesting day by the way... My family, also known as the sorge dynasty, sponsored a trophy at the high school band competition. Yes, I was a band geek, and so was the rest of my family. But I went to the competition today to help present the trophy. It was quite surreal, going back to the alma mater. And the band competition just brought it all back, all those memories of saturday nights and sunday afternoons on a bus, heading god knows where, to perform in the brisk autumn air. God, I miss that. If I only knew what I had when I had it. Don't it always seem to go.... Once I heard those words, "Judges, are you ready? Band, are you ready? ___ you may take the field in competition?" Yes, I recited them as they said them. All to familiar from the football field. Almost makes me want to break out my trumpet and start playing again.

Almost

278 to the 440

I apologize in advance for the content of this post... to whom am I apologizing? Myself, I guess, but I'm in a mood, and just feel like ranting. That's what I do when I get in a mood, I rant. Mostly to myself, but that's how I rationalize things, work through them in my head, get all my thoughts out so I can focus on lesser, more insignifigant things, like the weather, which by the way has been gorgeous these past couple of days. Anyway, please forgive me for this display of patheticism and by no means am I searching for sympathy, I get enough internally thanks.

So yeah, I'm in a mood... mostly which developed on my car ride home tonight. I'm in a nutshell depressed and lonely, just a little moreso than usual. I've come to the realization that everyone around me, my friends, are starting to venture into what I like to call couple mode... Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger, and I'm no spring chicken either. Granted, my youth has yet to escape me and marriage should be something way in the back of the mind of someone my age, but it just seems that those around me all have signifigant others, and christian is left alone. And you know how it is once you're with someone, you want to do couple things. Now I'm not saying that this is the case with my friends, because it is far from that. It's just that hanging out with these friends automatically dubs me the 3rd (or any odd number after that) wheel. Not that I mind, at least to a certain extent. I'm among friends, I'm having a good time, and that's all that matters. But in the back of my mind (more to the front than the marriage thing), there's always that nagging feeling, that reassurance that I'm alone and everyone else isn't. That something is missing.

I keep telling myself that there's nothing wrong with me, that the right person will come along eventually, but I'm beginning to think that I'm just fucking with myself. I honestly can only tell myself that for so long. And I appreciate the words from others mouths, I honestly do, but that doesnt put the girl around my arm. I have all these friends that know all these people, but not one would think to set me up. Although, in the words of one friend, they're not "the make a wish foundatation." Hmm... Granted I'm not exactly out there trying to reel in every girl I see, maybe that's where my fault is, I'm taking the passive agressive approach. But it's a crazy world out there, it's one big game. You never know who's willing, who's taken, and who just thinks you're a waste of time. I was never smooth, I have nothing but my dry sense of humor to charm, I'm not necessarily showing up everyone else out there. I am what I am, but unfortunately, that just doesnt seem to be enough, at least for the people I run into.

Anyway, something's gotta give soon. It has been TOOOO long. Maybe it's just the getting older, but I too long to do the couple things. It's fall... I want to play in the leaves with someone, go check out the foliage with someone, take some nice walks in the crisp night air with someone, I want to go pumpkin and apple picking with someone, I want to take a hayride with someone, I want to go to a haunted house with someone. Wheres the fun in fun fall things, if you cant share them with someone? I'm just tired of being the tagalong.

UGH! It's rather frustrating. And I dont ask for much. Just a sweet, hometown girl, good head on her shoulders, knows what she wants in life, determined with just the right amount of drive, great family life, and a great group of friends, because if you want to be her lover, you gotta get with her friends. I'm thinking katie holmes, kristin kreuk, with a dash of lindsay lo (from about a year ago) just for the pinch of vixen in the mix. She'd love to go out on occasion, but love to stay in. She'd have a love of music and movies, especially the "classic" ones. She'd love to talk, since I love to listen, but not talk so much that she never listens. She'd love to cook, but let me cook for her. Hell we could cook together. God, I could go on forever, but I will know her when I find her.

So yeah, that's my life, it never ends.