It's my party

Thanks to all my real friends for wishing me a happy birthday... the rest of you can go screw yourselves :-p

Kidding... I myself have been guilty of overlooking friends birthdays. I know days, they just come to me after that fact. Sometimes I can barely remember my own let alone others. It's just another day, that happens to be exactly 24 years from my time of birth. I went out to dinner with my family. We went to arirang. I love hibachi... it's entertaining and fulfulling. The whole fam was there. Since I rarely see all of them together, it's always nice. I worked today, not only my birthday, but a saturday. We all work on our birthdays, it's a given. But it's saturday. ugh... I'm attempting to catch up, do 2 weeks of "work" within 3 days so I can go away. Taking vacation doesnt mean the work goes away. You know what I'm talking about.

I'm still accepting birthday wishes though, so feel free.

This birthday has got me thinking about things, but things I'll save for a future post. I'll leave it at that.

Now I'll be on vacation starting tomorrow evening for a little more than a week, so my posts will be sparce, perhaps nonexistent, since I will be far removed from anything resembling technology... although I'll always have my trusty laptop at my side. I might try audioblogger, although my cell wont work either. Hell, even blogs need a vacation.

Happy birthday to me! ;-)

Song for the moment: 50 cent - "In da club" (cliche yes... oh well)

Fly like an eagle

Sometimes I think my life lacks forward momentum.... like everything is moving so fast that time just seems to stand still.

Sometimes I'm amazed at the shit that just spills out of my mouth

I need a vacation.... oh wait. 4 days and counting til the relaxing, remote, drug induced vacation. my once a year regeneration. it's not coming soon enough. hopefully the brain cells that contain the stress and unnecessary bullshit of this year will be lost in the fire.

Rock and roll!

Freaky

I like this response, granted I did take a little liberty with the age, but close enough....

Your Icon is..... by d3athofs3asons
Your Name
Your Age
Your B-day
Your Icon Is....
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Courtesy of Michelle

Right back at ya :-p

Although I'm technically considered a leo, I was born on the cancer-leo cusp, so it's times like these when I'm torn between the cautious nature of the cancer and the pompous nature of the leo... of course, for those of you who know me, I am generally dominated by the latter. But with the situation, where a valued friendship appears to be at stake, I'll tread cautiously.

Very rarely do I feel the need to justify my actions... I stand behind my thoughts and actions, regardless of whether I'm wrong or right. So rather than justify right now, I'll explain why it is I write these blogs in the first place. Everyone has thoughts, contemplative thoughts, regardless of how shallow and empty you might think a person is. At first, I thought it would be cool to talk to the world through my webpage... show people that I can be funny and interesting too. That will explain why my first blog only had one long entry, and sat on the back burner for months. Then, right around the time I started this thing, yes I had receieved a request, and yes I also noticed that this whole blog thing was catching on, so why shouldnt I join the bandwagon... another part of it was I was watching this movie "All I want" starring Elijah wood and mandy moore. I think it was some indie flick that these stars do to test their craft and prove they can be more than just a hobbit. Anyway, in a nutshell, elijah's character would always right these letters about what was going on in his life, about his relationships and such, and they would always be addressed to his dad, but he would never mail them. It was basically his form of release, writing to a person he's never even met. I asked a fellow blog writer, and good friend, why she writes in her blog. She wrote in an entry that she partly writes it for others to read. And then I asked if she would still write if she knew no one read it. Her answer... yes. So a main reason for me writing these things is release. Often, usually when I'm driving, with no distractions like the road or other cars, I think. Usually to the point where I cant remember how I got home. I have all these random thoughts going through my head. And if you wonder what that's like, you're reading it right now. My blog is basically a stream of my consciousness in a somewhat orgranized manner. That's why sometimes it's disjointed, that's why sometimes it's convoluted and verbose, and that's why it basically centers around myself and why my life is the way it is, boring and pathetic. I don't write to any particular person, it's almost as if I'm talking to myself outloud in a crowded room. Some people overhear me, some people realize I'm a crazy person muttering and move on. But I don't ask anyone to read this. I gave the disclaimer, you know what you're getting into when you click on the link to this page. Sure, some people may not like what they read, but these are my thoughts, why should I hold anything back.

Now, as I just said, I dont write these entries to anyone in particular, but at this time, I feel it's necessary to direct my attention to one person. The rest of you feel free to listen in. Now maybe I read it wrong, there's a good chance I did, but I don't think so. Now I know it was in response to something I said, and I will apologize, but only to a certain degree. Yes, I was upset. I thought it was a bit selfish to keep everyone waiting, but just that, I thought that incident was selfish. Maybe I didnt make this clear, but I didnt mean it that you were as a person selfish. And the fact that I wrote it in my blog (the reasons slightly explained above) was to get it out, blow off a little steam, and move on. The reason I may have pretended it was a joke, because the second I got it out of my system and down in text, I felt better and moved on. Which was honestly why I was a little shocked to find the entry a week and a half later. And I know I'm guilty of the same thing in a way, but has it come to the point where two people cant hold a conversation with one another if something is bothering the other person. Mine was a jerk reaction, yours was such as it was simmering for a while.

Now, as for the fact as feeling unappreciated, I'm sorry you felt that way. Sure, I'm pathetic enough to worry about my cooking being unappreciated, but once again, I was just blowing off steam. And I always worry about that stuff anyway. It experimentation, who knows who will and wont like it, regardless of what people say to be nice. And besides, by german definition, my name means to worry. Those bloody germans... Anyway, I thought all of us were at the point as friends where when we see each other, it's implied that the other is appreciated, otherwise we wouldnt be there in each other's company. It's always fun seeing you (you including jerry), and the others, I dont know why you would feel any different. Maybe it's because you were coming off a long venture and your vision was skewed, I dont know. There were a lot of people there, attention was spread thin, I'm not sure what you were expecting, but unappreciation shouldnt have been it.

Now, what else... as for our recent gathering in Delaware, think before you speak (or type I guess it is) Sure, delaware is a little farther than say princeton, and just a bit annoying to drive down the monotonous NJ turnpike, but that wasnt why I was reluctant. I was reluctant because, and don;t take this the wrong way, I was looking forward to a one on one dinner. There are conversations that you and I have, mature adult conversations, that I cant and dont have with most people. There are conversations I have with others that I dont have with you, and there are conversations you have with others that we dont have. And it is always nice to get together as a group, but when we do, I feel like all we do is goof off most of the time, attempting to trump (you're fired!) each other with our humor. You know, that stupid baby UMD shit that everyone seems to reminisce about and enjoy. We only see each other a handful of times a year and not to get sentimental, but I enjoy the time together with everyone... whether in a group or just alone. So not to hurt anyone's feelings, I agreed. Granted I was kicking and screaming, but I did agree, and in no way was it out of weakness, it was out of consideration. Or maybe that is weakness. And as for being late... when have I ever been known to be punctual?

Now you can call me an asshole... wouldnt be the first time. You can call me a douchebag... wouldnt be the first time. You can call me a slut bag whore... wouldnt be... well actually. But to say "I need some real friends," was kind of a blow to the kidneys. I'm sure that was the point, thats probably why you checked my blog almost every hour the next day to see if I would hit back. But I thought giving our great history as friends, we, or I, would be able to surpass this, slap each other in the face, and move on.

See, there, I feel better already :-)

Song for the moment: Wallflowers - "The Difference"

Carefully contemplating

a response to this (see below)

All this is in response to this

No offense

The rain has let up today, thankfully; I thought there was a monsoon or something yesterday the way it was coming down. Silly me, I didn't check the forecast and wore open-toed shoes. It's just overcast right now, which matches my mood rather nicely.

Earlier, I was perusing the usual blogs and I caught a glimpse of an article on Christian's from last week, which I did already post a comment on. You know, looking back, I really wish we hadn't gone to Matt's BBQ; it was really more trouble than it was worth. I don't think the effort we put forth to be there was appreciated at all, especially by Christian because he believes that everyone's personal lives should be just as pathetic as his. I know he's just jealous, but it hurts when someone you think is a good friend publishes snide comments about you on his website and then acts like it's a big joke.

We squeezed Jerry's move into 6 days so we would be back in time for the festivities; we really could have used that time to relax and take it easy with the trip and maybe we wouldn't have been so exhausted and stressed. I'm certain it would have made my transition back to work that much easier, and maybe I wouldn't feel so rundown right now. We drove from Sacramento to Reno til 4am, got the truck and packed it a few hours later, drove cross-country 10-13 hours a day for 6 days, unpacked the whole day before Matt's, and then had to get up to drive again in the morning to make it down there by 2, which due to traffic and exhaustion ended up being more like 4. Somewhere in there I made a chocolate trifle and bought margaritas to bring with us. I was just looking forward to seeing my friends, and I thought everything had gone well, only to read this a few days later. I guess that's what hurt the most.

I feel guilty not just for dragging Jerry down there with me, but because I was such a wet blanket at his family's party the next day and it's not even like it was because we had that good a time the day before.

Really, it just reminds me of all the stupid baby shit at UMD that made me glad I left there when I did. As for this particular incident, we were never part of any breakfast plans; I told Matt when he originally asked 3 weeks ago that we couldn't go to IHOP. On that morning, Jerry deferred to me out of courtesy because they are my friends, but he didn't want to go either because his family's BBQ was starting at noon and we were already going to be late. And really, the only reason they wanted to go to IHOP early was because the kids woke them up and there was no chance of them getting back to sleep; trust me, it wasn't planned.

I'm reminded of the most recent time we made plans, before the BBQ. Matt was trying to get together with us in Delaware, and Christian wouldn't respond for a week because he didn't feel like driving all the way down there. In the end he did of course, and was late, but he only did it because he's too much of a pussy to say no; he knew he was being a jerkoff.

And he has the nerve to call me selfish and self-centered. Talk about "people in glass houses". Man, I need some real friends.

Buddy

First of all, I apologize... I know it's been a few days since I've posted, and I know you're all on the edge of your seat waiting for the next tale I have to entice and entertain. Well, you'll have to wait a little longer, because in no way am I in an entertaining mood. By the way, I hope you can forgive me for my drunken posting. Yes, drunken posting... kind of like drunken text messaging, but taken to a much different level.

So anyway, here's a little story I thought was interesting. I have an aloe plant. I've had it for about 6 years, ever since my freshman year of college. (it was a gift from a friend). So it started off in this little pot, with only a few aloe "stalks," if that's what you call them. Well, the green things that stick out. I held onto it because it was a gift. So I brought it home, and left it there. Now plants have a nasty habit of dying in my house. There's just something in the air that prevents plants from thriving... I think it's my brother. So this plant sat at home, in it's little pot, with an occasional watering from the family while I was at school. It stayed in this pot until about a year ago. When I removed it, it was all root. I'm not exactly sure where the dirt went, but it was mostly dirt. So I moved it into a bigger pot, and it grew some more. Then I had to move it into an even bigger pot. Well you get the idea, it's growing. I like taking care of it. It's very low maintenance, only requiring water about once a week.

So the other night I was sitting near the plant, since its in my tv room right behind the couch. As I sit there, I like to reach behind me and almost "pet" the plant. Disturbing yes, but if you've ever had an aloe plant, you would understand. It just feels cool, the long smooth stalks with the little sharp teeth along the side. Ok, forget I said that. So then I went to water it. As I was doing so, my mother made the comment, "You need to get yourself a pet... or a girlfriend." I laughed, a confused laugh, then sighed. If she only knew how right she was.

On a side note, "I love the 90's" debuted on VH1 this week. So funny, and something I'm sure all of you reading this can relate to and understand. And being as I do a 90's show, it's just even more cool. I was hoping they would take this step with the success of the previous 3. Also, if you ever get a chance, Best Week Ever on VH1 is one of the funniest shows out there. Perfect blend of sarcasm and mockery :-) Do check both out

Do You wanna get rocked?

Song for the moment: Tom Cochrane - "Life is a highway" (sorry, it's playing as I type)

drama

Wow, I'm surprised I made it this far... let's just say I feel like I;m back in college, even though I think I drinkl more now than I ever did in college. Anyuwau, tonight was joy's birthday party, and yes, there was alcohol, as you can see my satate, but that;s ab ot a;ll I have to say right now. Hpefully, I can elabortate tomorrow, but for right now, it's bed time., I'll just sum uit up in rone word... drama. :-)

Auto Response from SorgY24

So I'm sitting here bored, as I usually am, staring at my buddy list. I find it amazing how many people are on my "buddy list" that I dont actually talk to... that I havent spoken to in years. For the most part, I have it separated into several categories. There's my main buddies category. This is pretty much everyone I talk to, with a few rogues that I just like to see whether or not they're online. Then I have my work list... self explanatory. There are people I went to school with, from roommates, to close friends, to people I took one class with and used IM as a form of communication. There are people from high school who I somehow gained their IM in that first year out of high school where we all promised we would stay in touch. Then there's that group of people who I have no clue who the hell they are, but for some reason I just leave them there like someday it'll come to me why they're on my list, even if it's for the most random reason. Now since I have gone the way of the mac, I use ichat, which shows me everyone listed alphabetically, not by group. So I look at this list everyday of people that I havent spoken with in years. Some are tucked away, but for the most part, you get the idea.

It's just weird... I was reading Chau's blog and she brings up and interesting point, or request I should say. She says she doesnt want people reading her blog who she hasnt spoken to in a month. Her personal thoughts are only reserved for "friends" Now I think there are different degrees of friends. And as far as I'm concerned, if I'm writing this shit online, I dont care who reads it. But a few people have actually mentioned to me that they're reading this thing, a few people I wouldnt have expected. A few people i havent talked to in years. I guess this is a good way to catch up, see what others are up to without having to talk to them. Honestly, you'll probably get more out of me here than in an IM conversation or a phone call. But since I put the link in my profile, I know there are others out there reading this. Hell, I do it all the time, we all do it. We get bored, and we read people's away messages and their profiles. Yes, we're all guilty. We even follow the links they provide us with.

I wonder why it usually comes to this. Is it my fault I dont speak with these people anymore? Is it their fault? Or is it just the natural course of time working its way through the relationship. I actually once plotted out the natural course of a college to post college relationship. When you work with someone on a daily basis, you see them every day. You eventually make the step to realize this is a person you want to talk to or hang with outside of the work environment. Since you're kind of thrown together, it's like you grow on each other. So once you get to the point where you dont see each other anymore, it's almost like out of sight, out of mind. First, it's a phone call once a week, then once a month. Then it's sporadic. Before you know it, you just have IM conversations, granted the other person has IM. Eventually, IM doesnt even come into the picture... now it's just e-mail. You e-mail a funny thing now and then... then it just becomes an e-mail synopsis of your life. Eventually, those become sporadic as well. Every now and then you'll call the person to say hi, see what they're up to. It'll be awkward at first, you'll question why they are calling you, you thought you were just e-mailing each other. So the phone calls as a result will become less frequent. Then the e-mails start slowing down. Out of sight, out of mind, remember. And then a year goes by, and you're looking through some old e-mails, and you see an old e-mail from them, and reminisce. It's up to you where it goes from here. Sometimes you send and e-mail, or sometimes you just let it go and move on. This is all very sad, but some of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I try my best to keep in touch with people. Send an e-mail, an phone call every now and then, but it's not always easy. Everyone is busy, everyone has their own agenda. Even on IM, everyone cant always talk. But I always see certain people there, people I once talked to all the time, who now are just another name on my buddy list. I look at the names and always wonder what's stopping me from saying hi. Asking how they've been.... what they've been up to. Maybe one day, I'll just go up and down my list and say hi. I'm sure the people will be like "who the hell is this" at first. Then I'll be like, remember, I interned with you for 3 months at mtv, or we used to work together at old navy 5 years ago, or hey, it's been a while since high school, please sum up the last 6 years of your life in 500 words or less.

But hey, if you do read this, feel free to drop me a line. Sure I might ignore you at first, but dont let it bother you. Remember, persistence is the key to annoyance. But annoyance will get you somewhere eventually. Or hell, if you dont feel like talking to me, leave a comment below.

I'm a tad setimental. Even if I havent talked to you, I like to know how you've been. How things have changed, or how they havent changed since our relationship was at it's prime. Dont be shy.

Song for the moment: Roxette - "Fading like a flower"

Kaboom!

I know it's wednesday, almost thursday, i know the weekend was two days ago, but lack of motivation has led me to neglect my blog. Perhaps as form of recuperation from this weekend. Granted, it was far from hectic, but still requires it own recovery period. Maybe from being "on" for the weekend, who knows.

Anyway, after filling in for my boss yet again on what was a surprisingly short day for the friday before a holiday weekend (having to do the commercials up until tuesday). I guess all that work was taken care of in the days before. Plus the people I get the work from left early themselves, so I can only do so much.

So I ventured home, attempting to wait until the right window where there wouldnt be a great deal of cars on the road. Luckily I dont think any of them were driving west away from the city, so it was just your average afternoon drive. So I arrived home and packed up some clothes, enough for a week, because I like to be prepared in case I mess myself, and I also like the option. After waiting until post rush hour, allowing for all the cars traveling south on the turnpike to slightly clear, I packed up the car, including the carrot cake and stuffed mushrooms I stayed up until 2 the night before to make, I took the 3 hour ride down to matty's house for the weekend, arriving around 11. After which, we took a brief run to the supermarket to pick up some last minute things for saturday's barbeque.

So saturday was quite the fun-filled, action-packed day. After waking around 10, a bit early for my tastes, it was time to being preparations for the day, as Eli and company would be arriving shortly. So just as I was mixing the meat ;-), eli, lauren, and their 2 kids arrived. No eli was part of the clan from freshman year at UMD, and only for that year, as our clan slowly dissolved as the years went on. Eli and I used to enjoy watching the movie Hackers and then traveling around campus looking for ways to apply what we learned. When I think of Eli, and interesting story always comes to mind, since he is quite the interesting character. That's why it's so fun to have him around. Of course, Eli is now married, and has been for a couple of years now. He also has 2 kids... a 2 year old and 6-month old. Kind of scary... but they are so adorable, and rather well behaved.

So after they arrived, and after we had a spot of lunch, maybe it's me, but I feel like I spent the better part of the afternoon preparing for dinner. I felt like the woman (no offense). Don't get me wrong, I Iove to cook, depsite the fact that I feel no one appreciates my cooking. I made a damn good carrot cake... all you people suck for not trying it. But you'll eat layered poop (no offense michelle, it was good). So yeah, soon enough chip and his girlfriend arrived, and then eventually michelle and jerry arrived as well. We were all there, how exciting.

So we all ate after chip cooked the stuff on the grill, leaving us a couple of hours to kill. Oh boy. Chip and his girl left, we believe at the threat that the fireworks we would be attending would be costing $17 per person. I hate people who are overly thrifty... it's one thing if you dont have money. I mean, come on.

So anyway, after killing 2 hours, mostly by looking at old pictures on my computer, which people seemed to be really passionate about, and freaking out when I chose not to show them pictures that didnt pertain to them at all, we drove to see some fireworks. (Some people are so sensitive) Granted it was july 3rd, but we went anyway for lack of a better thing. So yeah, after waiting over an hour in a field, they started, and then stopped, and that's about it. Nothing too spectacular. Finally, threw the kids in the car, all of them, and we returned to matty's house, and sat there not knowing what to do with ourselves. After dessert, we made an attempt at trying to have some fun. That's when Eli broke out "Guess Who" Yes, the childrens game. And that's how we spent our evening, playing guess who. (and not to gloat, but I kicked everyone's ass - what can I say, I thrive at children's activities. After that, most retired to bed, while matt, eli and myself sat on the couch, as lauren looked on, and we whistled for the rest of the night. Yes, whistled. Why, I dont know, but that's what we did.

So the following morning came, and oh what a morning it was, a morning not of happiness, but of frustration. Now this morning, I woke even more ungodly early than usual. I think it was before 9, but I cant remember. Matt was sleeping on the floor since his room was tied up with the Taylor's. After he banged himself into the bed frame, I woke abruptly. So, in attempt to move the day along, and include everyone since Jerry and Michelle had insisted on leaving around 11, we thought since we were up so early, we could probably get everyone out for a traditional IHOP breakfast before departure. So we knocked on the door to their room, and after some rustling, jerry emerged. We presented the option. He said he had to clear it with michelle. A minute or 2 went by... he reermged stating that they wouldnt be accompanying us to breakfast, but would get ready and leave when we did. So after taking a quick shower, hoping that would move things along, we were all eventually ready no later than 10. Except of course for michelle. I'm sorry michelle, but I dont want to ever hear about me taking a long time to get ready from you ever again. I dont know what you were doing up there, but you sure took your sweet ass time.... so come 11:30, when michelle finally decided to make her way downstairs (well past her planned leaving time, and WELL past the time we had hoped to leave for breakfast) we all made our way outside and said our goodbyes with smiles on our faces. And let's just leave it at that (selfish).

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly... Eli and company decided they wanted to leave shortly after breakfast, since we were a little short on time (self-centered). At breakfast, I almost felt what it was like to have children... kind of cool showing off some cute kids, but at the same time scary. I think a lot needs to change in my life before I ever consider children. Perhaps some maturing is in order.

So yeah, the rest of the weekend I felt was spent eating. I think all we did for the rest of the day was sit on the couch and eat. Hey, it's my vacation, why should I spend it any differently the the rest of the year. At night, we went to see a more spectacular fireworks display than the previous night, just for something to do. And then we retreated to matts and lit sparklers for the remainder of the evening while we once again raided the fridge.

And finally, we come to the last day.... Matt actually woke early to wash my car. I think it was keeping him up at nights. My car has not been washed in years, I like it that way. I know it was sometime during college, I actually think he made me do it then as well. But I like the dirt... The thick coating of dirt, while protective in some sense, also adds character, along with my white front end. Which, as you'll find out, both were taken away from me. So yeah, after he powerwashed it, he decided we should paint my front end, which has been white since I rear ended a jeep suv on the way home for thanksgiving my sophmore year of college, mere months after I got the car... so for a majority of my ownership, it has been that way. So after 3 round trips to the auto parts store, we painted it, or rather matt painted it. But I must say, the color, or the color combination due to a lack of 2 cans of the same color paint, actually matched the color quite nicely. So my car is uniform in color now, it has lost its unique quality, it's not longer ghetto, at least by just looking at it.

So the evening panned out with a visit to a restaurant for some all-you-can-eat baby back ribs after a pop in from jeff and lisa. We returned, I packed, and made my way home around 11.

That's life, that's what I do.

I need help

(by the way, I've noticed that a few people do this on their blog, whether it's a part of their template or not. I figured since I work in radio, why not...)

Song for the moment: Tears for Fears - "Shout"

bare bones

Just got home from a long 4th weekend... tired... I know all of you have been glued to my blog wondering what will happen next.

Well hold on kiddies, because there's more to come ;-)

Crazy glue

There's a crack in my windshield

It's as such where I notice it quite often. It's as such where I find myself distracted by it at times. Sometimes the sun will catch it just right, and I'll be blinded, and I'll lose sight of the road for a second, but just for a second.

It's hard to look past something that's right in front of you. It's kind of like mismatched wallpaper. You just stare at it all the time. You know exactly where it is. And if it's right in front of you, you try and adjust your eyes where you see through it, but most often to no avail. Try not to think about it. Try not to think about it, and you wont see it. But it's there

I know how it got started, I know why it's there. Someone kicked up something and it flew right into my windshield. I believe it was a stone, usually is. There's a nick where it first hit. I actually remember the exact time it happened. In my mind that is, and not exactly. Just like that usual flash of memory where you remember something happened. Funny thing about something like that... things get kicked up all the time, and you freak out initially when they hit you, maybe with an expletive at the unknowing person on the giving end, but you can never anticipate the actual damage that has been caused.

It grew, in length that is. And no, that's now what she said. I marked it with a marker when I first noticed it, about an inch from the top of my windshield. It's grown a lot. It's funny how time can make things worse. Time, and the environmental conditions around you. I've tried not to agitate it, but I can only do so much.

Interesting thing about cracks, in most instances, not counting any scientific phenomenon, cracks are irreparable. Sure you can mend them in a way, stop them in their tracks, stop the damage from spreading, but it's hard to reverse the damage. What's done is done. It's not even like a scar, it's a crack. It cant be filled in, it's there. Just ask Ben Franklin (some attempt at a liberty bell reference), or a plumber. I suppose it can be replaced, but it's not an easy task. What about my rear view mirror? My ezpass velcro? My jiffy lube oil change reminder? There's a lot of history to that windshield.

Another interesting thing about the windshield, different from your average glass item, there's that protective layer of plastic that keeps the glass from shattering all over me, that keeps me from serious harm, that keeps my windshield ultimately intact, depite the crack. A sort of skin, and a tough one at that.

So it continues to spread. Somedays more than others. You don't really notice it, but over time, the damage can add up. It's come a long way from the mark I made... it's come a long way from the first chip. But there's plenty more to go, and it can go at any moment, in any direction it choses. It already made one sharp turn. It can make another. It has a mind of it's own. Like I said, I can only do so much.

How many of you have cracks in your windshield or know those who do? Chances are, you know of what I speak...

There's a crack in my windshield